Challenge Day #22

Ryan P.

Along the way I’ve managed to pick up some little ditties that help me keep big ideas front and center in my thinking.  For example:

• Ask – Don’t Tell
• Experience First-Label Second
• Show-Model-Teach
• What-So What-Now What
• KWL (Know-Want to know-Learned)
• Big Picture- Small Pieces-Big Picture
• Relationship First – Content Second
• I don’t care what you know til’ I know that you care

I’m not sure if I read them, I created them to help me remember or if someone said it and now I parrot them. They have however served me well in keeping focused especially when I’m working with others.

Today as I was floating in the lake reading I was reminded of one that at first I wasn’t quite sure I accepted as true.  “If they knew they would do.”  As a parent and educator I have met many people when working with them I’ve found myself thinking – dang come on – you know better than that.  I hope those words have never passed my lips.  Then one day I was doing laundry and I recognized the veracity in if they knew they would do.

It was a Monday morning and I wanted to get the sheets washed an out on the close-line.  At the time not only were my two sons living with me I had three additional young men living in my house.  One of them Ryan had been staying for several weeks by this time and not once had his sheets appeared in the laundry room on Monday morning.  You may be wondering why I was doing all the laundry – if you know me you already know the answer – I am fussy about the laundry.  Yes my sons know how to do their own wash and they do but when my clothes are involved I want it done my way.  So I went seeking Ryan.

Remembering to not make assumption and to ask questions I approached Ryan.  I said, “Hey Ryan – come with me to your bedroom for a minute.”  When we went into the room the bed was made and like most beds in Minnesota the extra blanket was folded on the end of the bed. I asked him “Rayan can you show me how you sleep in the bed.” He asked “What do you mean?” I said, “Just show me which blankets and stuff you use.”  “He said well usually I just use the one at the bottom of the bed.  I lay down and cover up with it.” There it was the reason he didn’t have sheets in the wash is he didn’t know – that in a bed with a top sheet and a bottom sheet you sleep between the sheets.  If he had known he would have been doing it. 

I was a bit shocked that an 18 year old wouldn’t know about sleeping between the sheets and then I realized he probably never had a bed at home that had both a top and bottom sheet on it.  From that day forward when someone isn’t doing something I think about Ryan and the sheets.  I learned that most people if they know better they do better.  What one person sees as a mistake is usually nothing more than a learning opportunity for someone.