Questions to Encourage Character

Do you want to grow responsible, independent, caring individuals? Each interaction you have with a child is an opportunity to build internal strength and develop life skills. Asking questions rather than making statements plants the seeds for healthy character traits to grow within children.  When a child is exhibiting a trait you wish to encourage take advantage by helping them self-reflect. Use a sincere tone to convey your intent. A simple way to remember is “Ask - Don’t Tell!”

What to ask	To encourage	Instead of saying
·       How hard did you try? ·       Was this your best work? ·       Did you give yourself credit for your efforts? ·       When it was hard what did you do?	Hard Work / Perseverance	·       You tried really hard on that. ·       You never gave up, even when it was hard. ·       I can tell you tried your very best.
·       Do you think you can do it? ·       How smart are you? ·       Are you smart enough to figure this out for yourself? ·       What will it take for you to be able to do this …on your own?	A “can do” attitude.	·       You have such a positive attitude. ·       You can do it. ·       That was brave of you. ·       I can tell you studies very hard. ·       You did a great job of participating today.
·       How much have you improved? ·       How close to your target goal are you? ·       How big of a challenge will this be for you? ·       What will it take to meet this challenge?	Growth Mindset	·       You have really improved on _______. ·       You are not afraid of a challenge.
·       Did you think of that all by yourself? ·       What creative ideas do you have to solve this? ·       Who/ where might you find some ideas/solutions?	Creativity / Problem Solving	·       What a creative solution to the problem. ·       You thought of that all by yourself!
·       How much did you collaborate with others? ·       How good of a friend are you being? (To others- to yourself) ·       What does it say about you when you work well with others? ·       How might you help? ·       How good of a helper are you?	Collaboration	·       You work very well with your classmate/siblings. ·       What a great friend you are! ·       You did a great job of helping. ·       I can tell you worked hard with your group.
·       Have you given yourself credit for that? ·       How responsible were you being? ·       What does it feel like to be prepared? ·       Are you proud of your choice? ·       How was what you did a trust builder?	Responsibility	·       I love how you took ownership of that! ·       That was a very responsible thing you did. ·       I like that you are always prepared. ·       I know I can trust you. ·       I am so proud you made that choice.

Most questions can be followed by – “Have you given yourself credit for ______?”  A transition to asking only questions might be to preface the question. For example:  “I think you're smart enough to figure this out – what do you think?” For the next 48 hours challenge yourself to ask more questions.