Parenting 101

I recently shared some parenting tips on my blogtalkradio show (Radio Show).  I recommended a book for new parents The Wonder Weeks by Frans Plooij (Wonder Weeks). This book is especially helpful for new parents during the first 18 months of a child's life.  Below are a few of the tips I shared.

The first tip is to go to your inner space and clearly define who you want to be as a parent.  Create a "to-be" list of the parent you want to be.  If you are parenting in partnership together you need to come to consensus about your role as parents.  You also will want to decide if one person believes the other isn't living the agreement how you will manage the situation before it occurs.

The second tip was to develop a three level foundation:
Establish Bottom Lines - these are the non-negotiables often related to safety with a clear procedure to follow should anyone cross the bottom line. Example- wearing a helmet when riding a bicycle.

My Job/Your Job - A four quadrant diagram, established through negotiating. The chart describes the roles everyone in the family will fulfill.   The parents' job is/The parents' job is not - The child's job is/The child's job is not.

BEing Agreement - an agreement reached through consensus.  This social contract answers the question "who do we want to be as a family - how do we want to treat each other." Example- Be loving, honoring, and respectful.

Tip three is to ask question rather than tell.  Start with questions about the BEing Agreement then go to My Job/Your Job and if that still isn't working go to the Bottom Line. If it is a safety issue go directly to the bottom line.

Tip four try avoid the good-bad box.  Get kids thinking for themselves about what is and isn't serving them.  Critical thinking before taking action is a life skill everyone needs.

Happy Parenting!

For more detail on laying the foundation for parenting through questioning read Setting the Tone: A Connected School Approach to Creating Bully-free Classrooms available on my store site.

Listen to the radio episode
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/becreating/2013/09/30/parenting-101

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