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Showing posts from 2013

Creating A Personal Balance Sheet

This blog is linked to the ideas shared on my  Radio Show . T rying to balance home, work, relationships, personal growth and other interests isn’t easy.   The first step in the process is to realize that you have only 24 hours in a day.   Cut yourself some slack and remind yourself you can’t be everything to everyone. The second step is to recognize that balance doesn’t mean equal.   Balance is about harmony.    Balancing your time is creating a state in which the various parts of your life form a satisfying and harmonious whole.    When you are in balance, you feel calm, grounded, clear-headed and peaceful.   Balance is not a tug of war between the desires of your heart and mind; it is discovering the perfect combinations of the facets of your life.    Exactly what would balance look like for you?   Take a few minutes to create a personal balance sheet and do a bit of analysis to make some small shifts. Where would you place an “x” for the perfect balance in e

An Emotional Surfing Lesson

Jonathan Martensson wrote “Feelings are much like waves, we can’t stop them from coming but we can choose which one to surf.” In Perceptual Control Theory (PCT), behavior is described in terms of a negative feedback loop.  You record the world around you and within you as perceptions.  These perceptions are then compared to your desired perceptions (reference perceptions). Your actions are your attempts to reduce the discrepancy between the present state and the desired state.  When your perceptions closely match or exceed your desired state you may say you are happy, peaceful, joyful, excited, etc. Conversely, when your perceptions are far away from your desired state, you may say you are sad, angry, frustrated or something else.   You create the emotional waves within you.  When you allow yourself to fully feel your emotions as they come, you tend to let them go easily.  When you resist they persist and you tend to suffer more.  You create both the feelings you love and thos

Letting Go of Negative Chatter

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.  Watch your words, for they become actions.  Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.” – Unknown Taking time to metacognate—think about your thinking—can be extremely valuable in shifting your focus to one of well-being and crowd out stress.  A few times a day take time to be aware of your thoughts, analyzing the source and effects of your thinking. Try asking- “What’s this thought about?” or “When I have this thought how do I feel?” I might even suggest keeping a journal for a couple of days to look for patterns in your thinking. After a few days, dig a little deeper. Pay special attention to thoughts that are about yourself, your skills, your abilities and your performance.  Where on the continuum, from critical to uplifting, are your thoughts about yourself?  If you are on the end towards critical, it might be time take a few steps

Shifting Your Environment

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Small shifts can make a big difference if we just take them one at a time. Our five senses are the way we interact with our physical environment and you may be taking them for granted.  Taking pleasure in feeding your senses can also feed your soul.  Touching, tasting, smelling, seeing and hearing are all channels to create peace in your life.  First, take time to show you cherish your environment by clearing the energy in your space and clean it out.  After you have cleared your space, learn what specifically resonates with your senses and begin to take pleasure in the small connections you make with your environment.  Savor your senses and be totally present as you interact with your environment.  Thich Nhat Hanh in Peace Is Every Step shares a lovely story of taking an hour and a half to eat one small cookie. He reminds us that “Eating mindfully is a most important practice of meditation.” When’s the last time you took time to savor your food.   What small shifts can you m

Get Out of the Goal Rut

You may be familiar with the concept of SMART goals.   SMART goals are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Results-oriented and Time-bound. But, are you aware that there are three types of goals? Effective individuals and organizations learn to manage emerging problem goals, maintenance goals and stretch goals.      Emerging problem goals establish the ways and means by which you (your organization) will manage unforeseen problems or issues.   Putting in place a structure and a process for dealing with surprise problems allows you to relax and know that whatever comes your way, you are prepared to handle it. They also establish procedures for life’s unexpected opportunities.    Maintenance functions and goals keep you and your business on track.   For example if you have an annual report to complete or you are trying to maintain a good credit rating, ask yourself,   what goals do I need to put into place to preserve my reputation and sustain my present success?    Stre

Parenting 101

I recently shared some parenting tips on my blogtalkradio show ( Radio Show ).  I recommended a book for new parents The Wonder Weeks by Frans Plooij ( Wonder Weeks ). This book is especially helpful for new parents during the first 18 months of a child's life.  Below are a few of the tips I shared. The first tip is to go to your inner space and clearly define who you want to be as a parent.  Create a "to-be" list of the parent you want to be.  If you are parenting in partnership together you need to come to consensus about your role as parents.  You also will want to decide if one person believes the other isn't living the agreement how you will manage the situation before it occurs. The second tip was to develop a three level foundation: Establish Bottom Lines - these are the non-negotiables often related to safety with a clear procedure to follow should anyone cross the bottom line. Example- wearing a helmet when riding a bicycle. My Job/Your Job - A fo

Stepping Away

Why does it often take a crisis to bring you face to face with the big questions in life? Who am I? What am I meant to do with my life? What is life really all about? Often when you feel you are in crisis you seek evidence that you are a good person that you are becoming everything you can be. You become more reflective, relying on your stored courage and chipping away your ego to the core of your being, seeking your purpose. You want to make sense of your life. You ask yourself, “what is life really all about and how do I fit in?” When you are in the midst of a crisis, you feel as if you are in a dense fog. You can barely see your own hand in front of your face. You are seeking a way out to a clearer understanding a visible path. You want to feel safe. When you finally surrender, you realize that in the stillness of the fog, with nothing else to distract you, you can hear a small voice inside you. If you pay attention and trust your inner calling, you will be lead ou